I circle the moon with ease
Warm womb rising truths
I slide down the crescent
and hit the edge
Waiting wanting wondering
as she and I wane.
This was my Thursday.
Friday, we woke for early morning love making.
We finished just as the sun rose and decided quietly, alone, and then together, that we should just stay up and began our day.
Quiet beginnings before the kids awoke.
We peeked at the pink sky, and then shared hot chocolate in bed while watching Love Actually.
Sometimes I feel the worst parts of myself rise to the surface, begging for air, for life, for the center of attention.
I feel harried, irritated, bitter at “stuff”. Literally, stuff. Things, material stuff.
I fantasize about single suitcases and getting lost in the whispers of wanderlust.
I think of more love making and less worrying.
More laughter and less internet.
More playfulness and less planning.
More adventure and less maintaining.
More and more and more love, because nothing matters more than the love.
After the Friday beginnings of love making-hot chocolate-movie watching, I floated on the waters of awareness, presence, playfulness and joy.
I spent the day in alignment with the truth of what matters to me.
I let everything else wait.
Some days I fall asleep with the lingering remains of falling short.
It’s like being in a hot air balloon, hovering over what matters, but never looking over the edge of the basket and taking it in.
I don’t like these days.
I fully know and understand that as women (humans) we ebb and flow, rise and fall, wax and wane.
Yet, I scheme and wonder and plan and seek ways that I can always wax in the awareness, presence, playfulness and joy.
I’m captivated by what matters to me.
I wonder why I can’t stay in that place (even when I know why).
I wonder how even though I protect my life and my space, and this precious time I have to live this life in the vibration of what matters to me, I always wander off.
But I always come back too.
Friday evening, following the day of all that mattered to me, we went in to town to run a couple errands.
At a stoplight, as I neared a turn, we were nearly hit by an oncoming car, as they swerved to miss the person who turned in front of them.
In the brief seconds between everything is fine and relaxed and normal and we are about to (possibly) die, I had time to think of so much.
These are the moments why I live for what matters.
As we close out 2014 and welcome in 2015, really know what matters to you.
Promise yourself that 2015 will be abundant in what matters and scarce in what doesn’t.
That you’ll understand life is full of too much mysteriousness to coast in the lane of “only what matters”, but that you’ll aim to stay in that lane as much as you can.