I feel like I teeter in between this place of wanting to be seen and wanting no one to see me.
Don’t we all?
Fall feels as though she went through my spice cabinet and sprinkled herself with cumin, turmeric, cayenne and the like to warm the seasons coolness.
Driving into town last week I felt a twinge of grief in the air, knowing Fall would pass far too soon.
Life feels mixed grief, the lingering playfulness of yesterday’s dream, the crispness of the Autumn air and the comfort of weekend lovemaking.
We recently lost three chickens to these country woods.
Last week many women held space for National infant and pregnancy loss awareness day. So many of us have experienced this type of loss. I recently shared some heart-full thoughts on miscarriage in SQUAT Birth Journal. You can view the pdf of the magazine for free here.
I find myself unable to hold space for all the energy there. I like my safe cocoon of home.
There’s so much wisdom that I almost feel too full when I leave.
Yet, it unlocks more about me each time I go.
I spent nearly the entire Death and Dying class with goosebumps. Surprisingly, it was one of the classes I looked forward to the most. A little unknown fact about me is I am drawn to death and spend a decent amount of my reading time in books that highlight loss, and in thoughts that inspire presence because of inevitable loss. An interest in volunteering at Hospice has sat with me for while and this class concluded that I am being called to serve with and/or prepare for death.
Taking the intensive with Rosita Arvigo was a long held wish of mine. Here, I sat reminded of the incredible power of our wombs and inspired to expand my She Cycles course with more lushness of the uterus. And quite honestly, it inspired me to perhaps tell one of my truths of why I created the course in the first place. Something I’m quite unsure if I’m ready to tell.
I forest bathed, listened to the beautiful Aviva Romm talk about yoni’s, soaked up comfort in the stones class for empaths, listened to the sweet Emily Ruff talk Sacred Science, and absorbed Robin Rose Bennett’s humble talk on moon magic and women’s health.
I am getting lost in the pages of my journal. Un-layering, unraveling, unearthing what is deeper than what I show.
I’m confused because I’m far more goofy and playful than my writings ever reveal.
I keep wondering when I am going to regain my social interest that seems to have vanished this past Winter.
I’ve been thinking much about how we take for granted what we have and want what we don’t have.
I’ve been watching synchronicity magic up my life lately, reminding me that I am uncovering the right path.
I am taking an internet consumption break. I dislike the disconnect of myself I feel when I hear too much of others.
I’ve been facing my own inadequacy lately. Watching where my worth is validated.
Vulnerability is such a tough and beautiful thing. A critical thing.
Life keeps calling me to tell you more of my truth. Truth I already know and truth I am discovering.
With vulnerability in mind and our desire as women to be seen and to not be seen, I am opening a virtual circle this Winter for those of us who want to explore this part of ourselves, to uncover the truths we keep hidden. So many of you have expressed the wish that my She Cycles course offered a deeper way of connection with me and the other women taking it. This circle and the expanding She Cycles will offer a bit of this connection. xx
With wishes to share a cup of hot cocoa with you,
And for the sheer sake of it, a couple videos that share a bit of the recent soundtrack around our home.